I love Brendan to death but he can really make my mood go from a 1 to a 10 within seconds!! He has always had this issue with opening and closing doors, pushing buttons, and now banging on walls! It can really drive one insane. The real reason I go nuts is because he won't stop! He won't listen! He just keeps opening...slamming....opening....slamming or bang bang bang bang on the wall! I just don't get it. It must be part of his ADHD. He can not have a button or something with buttons in front of him or he has to touch them 10000 times!
I decided I don't like flipping out and screaming at the kid and in all honestly that doesn't even work. It may work coming out of his dad or stepdad's mouth but not mine. It never really has so I put my big pants on and decided a new tactic. What will make this kid listen??? Take away the one thing he is obsessed with right now...You Tube. Oh and guess what? It worked!!! For the time being.
I can't blame the kid because back when he was 3 years old I put him in his stander which happened to be next to his bedroom closet door and he realized he could open and shut it. This was one of the first times mommy got a break and sine he was happy in his room in his stander I thought what is the big deal? Well in this new house the front door doesn't have a deadbolt and he can open and close it....hard! It drives me a bit nutty within seconds. He has been better witht he door but he recently watched his Uncle rip down a wall and build a new one for us so my new washer and dryer could fit nicely in their little closet. Well he has been banging on walls to build like Uncle Robby for a week now. At first it was cute and he was just banging the floor. This banging moved to the walls and got very loud and very annoying. So the yelling began. The time out in his room and then my ah ha moment. I am going to take away you tube!
This morning I calmly talked to him before he even got in his wheelchair and told him we can not bang on walls and he asked why so I explained and then I asked what would happen if he banged on walls and he said you will take away my cars (he watches them on you tube) and I said yes that is right. So I know he totally understands. He did try for most of the morning but he did start up once. I told him this was his warning and that he would not be able to watch his cars after school and he stopped!! Oh my goodness it works!!! He has always handled calm discipline better than yelling but sometimes I have to remind myself instead of getting all stressed out and just yelling at him I need to try something that works for him.
Being a mom is hard work!! Thank goodness I love it!
It was Thanksgiving day back in 2002. I was only 23 years old and my life forever changed on that day. I had a placental abruption and Brendan was born at 33 weeks. He lost oxygen during delivery due to incompetent care but was a fighter and turned 17 this year. My journey in life over the past 17 years took many turns I was not expecting but I try to stay strong and have my husband by my side even when I am not.
Kudos to you, Steph! I'm realizing that Brendan and Malayna have quite a bit in common. She is obsessed with opening and closing our doors upstairs too. We end up putting things in front of them so she'll stop because she usually ends up closing her finger in one and then crying. She's also obsessed with things with buttons and pushes them a million times! And listening and discipline is a problem here too! I like your idea so maybe I'll try threatening Malayna with no iPad, since that's her favorite thing right now. You're right...it sure is hard work being a Mom! But you're a really good one!
ReplyDeleteOh wow really? He isn't the only kid obsessed with that? That makes me feel so much better. He has never hurt his fingers oddly enough but the sound drives me insane fast. Now that he is 8 and so much stronger he can certaintly slam the doors! He can't control himself even if I am pusing him in his wheelchair he will try and push the doorbell or grab a doornob to open it and I get so mad! He can't even help himself.
ReplyDeleteMalayna is also into screaming/shrieking at the top of her lungs lately. It's not a cry but just something she does to be extremely loud and to drive me insane! I ask her to please use her indoor voice but I think she knows it gets to me so she does it all the more! I try to be thankful that she's able to talk at all and that she can be loud but it gets old fast! Does Brendan do that too?
ReplyDeleteNo but he can talk and communicate. He actaully does get really excited at times and does shriek that can go right through you. He can't control his excitment sometimes. He doesn't yell to drive me insane but he knows every other way to do that! I did know this boy with CP who attended a school Bren did that did that shrieking thing all the time and it was LOUD! I guess they want to be heard..can't blame them! :)
ReplyDeleteEmma does things like this too! Buttons especially! Kicking the wall with her feet! Purposely dropping things on the floor for the kaboom effect!
ReplyDeleteWhile Emma does not speak as clearly as Brendan and Malayna. I do think she does it to get to me sometimes!
She also likes to snort!
She also has this doll that burps by pulling the bottle out post feeding. It suck WAY LOUD to begin with, but she makes it burp 1,000 times at a sitting! She laughs about it too! Drives me up the wall sometimes!
She also kicks the back of seats in the car and arches and pushes on them when she doesn't get her way.
I am glad I am not the only one with this issue! I just thought it was something with Emma.
Emma likes You Tube videos too, and iCarly! Maybe I could take those away!
Thanks!
Sounds like we all have our struggles with sanity! :) Brendan loves Icarly too! He is watching it right now before bed. Taking away youtube has really been working to control his behavior. Sometimes I think I need to discipline him like I would my typical children. He totally understands repercussions of his behavior. I am very happy!
ReplyDeleteIt is a relief to know that we're all struggling with similar things. It makes me feel less alone! Thanks for this post, Steph! I'm glad to hear the Youtube threat is successful. I'm not sure Malayna understands consequences yet. I'll have to work on that one more.
ReplyDeleteI will be honest here, I was obsessed with stickers when i was bren and malayna's age and i didnt care where they were lol Mom hated it because when she was pushing me in the cart at the store i would grab bread and stuff off the shelves to take the stickers. We all have our little annoying qwerks and yes we know they get to mom lol they will out grow it a swear im not a sticke thief anymore lol.
ReplyDeleteI also used to like to bang but not on doors and stuff i would bang my head on the floor um dont ask me why cause i dont know but i did it alot and it drove mom up the wall lol i am 25 now and came through all of my annpying trying behaviors just fine good luck to all thre of you
Thank you for writing that Jenny. It is really great to hear from someone who has CP and has grown up with it. I always worry about his future and if he will be able to work and have a girlfriend and just the typical stuff parents think about. It is great to hear the behaviors can be outgrown! Lots of kids with CP head bang. Brendan does it on occasion but did that much more when he was younger.
ReplyDeletei odnt work because i have so manny medical issues and transportation is a huge issue for me with my vision but I am sure there is alot of oppertunity out there for him. I have not had a relationship but there are alot of reasons behind that and unfortunately some of them do relate to the way that i was treated by others when i was younger people that are suposed to be peers can sometiems be so cruel but Even if he does not work or have relationship he will and can live a happy normal life I do every day sending hugs to you and stil wishing you all the luck with his surgery you can follow my blog if you would like i think sheila has it on her list im not sure but it is public on blogger dont remember the url but teh title is life with cerevral palsy and other medical issues
ReplyDeleteIs it a boy thing? My little brother won't listen either!
ReplyDelete