And then he was 17

I am still not sure how I have been a mother for 17 years. Almost half my life now, although I can't imagine life any other way. It seems surreal that he will be an adult next year. He has had a great year and has really progressed in so many ways. I am very proud of him. He still needs to mature and learn how to handle his emotions but overall he is so far beyond what I ever imagined.

I thought back to his birth this year probably because his birthday actually fell on Thanksgiving this year. I was able to think back and not break down. Okay I may have gotten a bit teary eyed, it is impossible not to. That day changed my life and was just the beginning of his very difficult life. 17 years later I can say that we are doing awesome. He has seriously come a long way.

I decided long ago to take this life day by day. The future scared me. I couldn't handle thinking about months ahead never mind years. I couldn't picture our life, I couldn't imagine what he would be like or how he would act or if he would talk or walk so I kept my sanity by taking it day by day. After all these years I still live by it. I actually hate when I do have to think about the future and unfortunately that time is here.

I have to plan for his future at this point. I have to choose a path for him. I have to think past high school. I have also had to realize that he really isn't capable of holding a job. He has had some great opportunities and he is always out and about trying new jobs with his job coach but in reality he can't handle much. He has only one limb that works well. His brain is still not the typical brain of a 17 year old. He still has very little focus or motivation. I am just thankful he has been given opportunities and he is still living an extremely fabulous life. I do worry it will become boring. I worry that he will be a hermit and live in his bedroom. I do worry that people will stop being awesome and taking him out and going above and beyond. All these worries haunt me. Thankfully he doesn't seem to worry or be concerned for his own future. He lets me take care of all of that!

I try and not focus too much on the scary future because it will take me down the path of depression. I have avoided therapy and medication all these years so in order to keep it that way I stop myself from obsessing about things that I can't control. He has been happy and healthy and that is all that matters. We have avoided major surgeries and we just keep chugging along. I try my best to give him a good life. He has had an amazing year and has hit all the goals we created for him this year. He self transfers for many things and has taken a lot of physical duties off of us. He is now my height and almost my weight so it has become very difficult for me to lift and move him so I am fortunate he can help a lot! I tend to hurt my back instantly if I do need to lift him.

The days fly by and here we are with the countdown to 18. We continue to change the house to meet his needs and will continue to do so in order to help him be as independent as possible. In a way it is exciting to enter a new chapter in his life, I just hope that it goes as well as the first 17 years. He is one lucky kid surrounded by so many people that love him and treat him with respect. I am honored to call our town home and really appreciate our community that goes above and beyond to make this kid happy.

3 officers showed up to a birthday party at his school. The nurse held a little celebration for him at lunch time and his teacher sent me a picture. He mentioned that he was eating lunch with the nurse for his birthday but I had no idea they would have a little party and that 3 officers would celebrate with him. It is all about the little things and these little things make a huge impact on this kid!

Happy Birthday kid!