Friday, October 30, 2009

Having a Sad day today

Today we had a meeting with all of Brendan's therapists and special ed teacher. Unfortunately my fears have been confirmed. Brendan is not learning as he should and his brain is the problem. I knew it all along and I realized we would struggle but I am not sure I realized we would already struggle in Kindergarten. He is having a very hard time recognizing letters and numbers. Forget about writing, we are far from the feat. His teacher said Brendan is her most challenging student yet. This sadden's me. I guess in the back of my mind I just assumed he had a lack of attention span or wasn't motivated but everyone is saying the same thing...it is his brain. If it is his brain there is nothing we can do but try our best and hope he can learn.
Will he ever write? We don't know. Will he ever read? We don't know. I won't give up on him, never in a million years. It is just hard to realize that the next 12 years are going to be a struggle for everyone, maybe even harder than I thought.
They might be wrong. Maybe he will prove us all wrong. I know there are computers he can use and he doesn't HAVE to write but reading??? I hope he is able to learn to read.
It is hard to see his stepsister who is two years younger spelling and sounding out words and writing all her letters as we speak them to her. He can't even draw a circle. Well he is getting better at the circle and he almost made one the other day which I was very proud of!!
I just had to vent today because I feel sad and am very teary-eyed. He is my boy who I want everything for and I am not able to give him everything. It hurts to see him struggle especially when there is nothing I can do but love him and accept him. Most parents can look into their child's future but with Brendan you have to take it all day by day. I will never know and can not imagine what one year from now will be like. I just have no idea. I know I will be better by tomorrow, I don't often feel sad for long.
He has come such a long way and I know he will continue to do so. I just worry as all mothers do for my imperfect son is perfect to me!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Serial Casting

We made it through with flying colors! Brendan spent 4 weeks with both legs serial casted. He had a new set of casts put on each week. He picked blue every single time. The last set he was convinced to have one be red...I heard it took lots of convincing!! :) He did fantastic. He is such a trooper as always. He never complained. He slept through the night and walked everywhere in his walker.
The last set was taken off today and I have never seen his ankles so loose. He stood up in his walker and his right foot was flat on the ground!!! It was a great sight to see. Off he went down the hallway and I could see his heels coming down towards the ground much farther! I am so happy we decided to do this.
We are also going to bring him for extra therapy for the next month. Just once a week but it is with the PT who did the serial casting. (and I am sure it will be better than the therapy he gets at public school!). I am really hoping he will benefit from this long term.
His right hand is also doing much better after some Botox injections. I am very happy I was adamant about using botox in that area. They always want to focus on his legs but he needs to be able to use his right hand as well! His is learning how to grip with it and he seems much more comfortable. Shirts are much easier to get on and off. I am very happy with the results. It is always nerve wracking at first because mobility is lost in a way. He uses his tone to do things and when the tone was gone so was the use of his hand. He couldn't hold a cup or even close his fingers BUT he is working on it and improving!
He is doing very well lately and I am so proud of him (as always). He is communicating more and more everyday. He is really thinking about what he is asking and what he wants to know. For instance; while riding Toby at hippotherapy he kept asking to go outside but it was pouring so he couldn't. The PT brought him over to the barn door to show him the rain and Brendan said to me "mommy after Toby can we go out there?". This is huge for Brendan. Those brain waves are working and continue to create new pathways. He may be globally delayed but he is getting there and I love it!