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Friday, October 30, 2009

Having a Sad day today

Today we had a meeting with all of Brendan's therapists and special ed teacher. Unfortunately my fears have been confirmed. Brendan is not learning as he should and his brain is the problem. I knew it all along and I realized we would struggle but I am not sure I realized we would already struggle in Kindergarten. He is having a very hard time recognizing letters and numbers. Forget about writing, we are far from the feat. His teacher said Brendan is her most challenging student yet. This sadden's me. I guess in the back of my mind I just assumed he had a lack of attention span or wasn't motivated but everyone is saying the same is his brain. If it is his brain there is nothing we can do but try our best and hope he can learn.
Will he ever write? We don't know. Will he ever read? We don't know. I won't give up on him, never in a million years. It is just hard to realize that the next 12 years are going to be a struggle for everyone, maybe even harder than I thought.
They might be wrong. Maybe he will prove us all wrong. I know there are computers he can use and he doesn't HAVE to write but reading??? I hope he is able to learn to read.
It is hard to see his stepsister who is two years younger spelling and sounding out words and writing all her letters as we speak them to her. He can't even draw a circle. Well he is getting better at the circle and he almost made one the other day which I was very proud of!!
I just had to vent today because I feel sad and am very teary-eyed. He is my boy who I want everything for and I am not able to give him everything. It hurts to see him struggle especially when there is nothing I can do but love him and accept him. Most parents can look into their child's future but with Brendan you have to take it all day by day. I will never know and can not imagine what one year from now will be like. I just have no idea. I know I will be better by tomorrow, I don't often feel sad for long.
He has come such a long way and I know he will continue to do so. I just worry as all mothers do for my imperfect son is perfect to me!


Sheila said...

So sorry to hear you were having a sad day. We have concerns about Malayna too and wonder what kindergarten will bring for her next year. Brendan is an amazing kid though and I think he'll surprise them yet. Our kiddos may take longer to do things, but they do it on their own time.

jenny said...

this is so true he will definately surprise you and continue to surprise everyone he is a strong lil man

April said...

There is great truth in your words. The love you have for your son is clear. Your support is the best thing that you can give him.