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Friday, May 20, 2011

I learned something yesterday!

Surgeons do not like when you go to other surgeons! I guess it never crossed my mind that Brendan's Dr. would be upset with me. Maybe I didn't care. Maybe I just didn't think about it or maybe I am nieve.

I do whatever it takes to help Brendan progress. I research and decide what surgery/therapy I want to do for him. I don't really let his Dr.'s tell me what to do. I listen to them and decide what is best for Brendan and our family. I chose to do PERCS. I saw online video's, I researched boards, I read about it and said YES we are doing this! I knew his orthopedic surgeon could do the typical heal cord lengthening and had suggested it years ago but I wasn't ready. I read that once you start these kids need it every year. When we went to NJ this Dr. said we probably wouldn't need this again unless he had a major growth spurt. I also wanted less pain and less recovery time for him along with tearing vs cutting his tendons. This was my choice and I was happy about it. I was caught a bit off guard yesterday. Not to mention during our 4 hour apt I talked with a mom next to me and her son, who was only 5, already had numerous heal cord lengthenings done (by the same Dr.) hmmmmm.

So what happened? Brendan had foot casts on for the last month. I needed someone to saw them off which was much harder than I had anticipated. In the end I had to call his ortho in Boston if I wanted these things off. I made an apt and off we went. I hadn't really told him we were planning on doing the PERCS or that we even did it. We hadn't seen him in a year since he removed some hip hardware from a previous surgery he had preformed. I didn't realize I had to tell him. I am his mother and Brendan has more Dr.'s than you could imagine. After a few minutes the Dr. looked at me and said "I am going to push you here but don't take it the wrong way. What exactly is my purpose here?" I am not very good with on the spot humiliation. I knew exactly what he was saying. I explained why we went to NJ and he said "well I do the exact same surgery". I knew he doesn't but I wasn't getting into it. I didn't feel I had to explain myself. This is my child and this was my decision. So he continued on and I told him I still wanted him involved. We need to watch his hips and spine but I really don't want any other surgeries in the near future. Boston is a 2 hour commute for us and the apt.'s seriously always take 1/2 a day. I have no idea why I need to wait over an hr to see a Dr. and then spend the next 3-5 hours but it always happens!

Part of me did take it the wrong way. I debated walking out and never going back. I sat there for a while thinking. I decided to stay because the Dr. wanted bi-valve casts made for night time wear. (Not that the 3 other braces we have at home for night time wear aren't enough!)I went back and forth in my mind since I had to sit and wait 1 1/2 hours with Brendan in the casting room for his legs to be casted. I know I need to watch his hips and spine. Then I thought well any Dr. can watch his hips and spine and then I thought well he did preform major hip surgery on my child, do I really want to go through getting all of those records and trying other Dr. that I may not like? Then I figured we are already here and he is already missing a day out of school so we will just stay and have the casts made. I have always liked this Dr. but he kind of ticked me off partly because I know he wants the paycheck for the surgery. He was probably insulted but I don't really care. I will do whatever I think is best for my son. So do I go back or do I find another orthopedic surgeon?????


Sheila said...

Oh boy, this is a tough one. I hate confrontation so I would've run and never looked back. BUT...if you've been happy with this doctor in the past, it's hard to walk away because good doctors are hard to find sometimes. So I guess I'd think about how you felt about him before this and let that help you decide. Hope that helps! Good luck!

Amilie said...

To my knowlege there are only 2 other Drs. in the world who do the same surgery as our Dr. in NJ. Bravo to you for finding this procedure on your own. I think you already know what you have to do!

We take it day by day said...

I agree Amilie. I know his Dr. doesn't do the "exact same surgery". I wasn't getting into it with him at that time. I did what was in the best interest for my son and I will continue to do so! Thanks girls.

its all gonna burn said...

good for you mom!, Dr's only get upset because we've hurt thier pride, but we don't have time for their pride. i've had times when on dr. didn't want to step on this other dr.s toes, so i had to step on those toes. one thing i hate, but i've had to learn is that the squeaky wheel gets the grease (answers, better care, more attentive staff, more options, etc), especially in health care.

April said...

Sometimes you've just got to get a second opinion. Dr. Park was our 2nd one and SDR changed my life!